Posted 1:35 AM by Luke
Dang it feels good to be a gangsta......or anything but

By gangsta, I mean the new guy at the job. And by feel good, I mean it feels about as good as one of those painfully silent car-ride with someone you just met. That's right, I was the new guy today at Lemstone. After two months of job searching, I finally got one. And being the new guy is always fun, right? That first day can be best described as a series of smiles, nods, "Ok"'s, "Alright"'s, and "Got it"'s, all the while you are forgetting 50 percent of what you are smiling and nodding at. You are bombarded with tax forms, company policies, product locations, computer information, and shown the pile of bodies that is made up of old, disobedient employees. Ok, so maybe that last part doesn't happen at every new job. In any case, it's always interesting to see how much you actually remember for day two. The best moments, though, are those in which the new guy is attempting to learn something and is interrupted by a customer. If such a situation comes up, I find it is best to do one of two things: 1) Turn the question back on the customer. For example, if a customer asks you where your printer paper is, and you, the new guy, have no clue, simply say something like, "You know, I was really hoping you could help me with that." 2) Distract that customer momentarily by pointing him toward a certain place where you claim the product is located. While they are distracted, yell "Sucka!" and run back into the break room. Those, coincidentally, are my bets tips for getting a raise within the first 30 days.

But seriously, I think I will enjoy my time at Lemstone. I had some reservations about applying there intially. For those of you who don't know, Lemstone is a Christian bookstore in the mall. So, I had some fears that Lemstone would just be an extension of my Christian bubble. However, I know some folks who have worked there, and they say it's a great place to have a ministry to the customers who come in from all sorts of backgrounds. It actually sounds really cool, and I'm looking forward to it. I pretty much had to take it at this point anyway, considering I have like 40 bucks left and the other places I applied to are being so lazy. The one thing that does suck, though, is that I am one of only two guys total that work there. 11 girls, 2 guys. Kinda lopsided. Lots of estrogen. Kinda scary.

In the spirit of new jobs, I thought I'd come up with some amusing moments from old jobs. There were countless moments at the movie theater, which I worked at during my last two years of high school and the summer after my freshman year. Two that come to mind were quite embarrassing. In one case, I slipped on some popcorn oil behind the concession stand and fell flat on my back right in front of a full lobby of laughing customers. In another, I absent-mindedly began to put butter on to a woman's popcorn after she had requested no thick sludge topping, and she proceeded to scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I jumped a few feet and made her a new bag of popcorn and rushed through the transaction so she would leave, all while her husband laughed nervously and said "Calm down, honey." Yeah.....what he said. At OfficeMax, there really weren't any memorable moments. That job was enough to make a stable man go clincally insane. I wandered the aisles for eight hours straight, asking customers if they need help finding pencils, or if they wanted paper with the pencils they already had. The people there were pretty cool, though. Oh, and it was pretty stinkin' funny to be named employee of the month after only being there 2 weeks. I didn't even do anything special! Absurd! The Custard Facory was fun, when the high shcoolers weren't playing their dumb towel-whipping games. I enjoyed the times when I called every single flavor "Chunkey Monkey," much to the frustration of those same high schoolers. And, of course, the good old Call Newspapers. Man, that's hard to choose a most thrilling moment. Was it the school board meeting or the city planning and zoning commision meetings? Or even the sewer district meetings? No, it was definetly the Green Park Board of Aldermen meetings, in which I watched the aldermen and the mayor bicker over technicalities in the previous meeting's minutes for an hour. Ahhhhh, my dream job. Here's to many more moments at Lemstone and all jobs to follow.

Movie/Music fun facts of the evening: I saw "Gangs of New York" tonight with OZ and Aaron McDonald. It was pretty good, but I haven't fully digested it yet. I don't want to ruin it for any of my readers anyway. I will say that DiCaprio and Diaz were very impressive. They both raised my opinion of them a few nothches with their performances. Right now, I am listening to The Wallflowers' "Bringing Down the Horse." A mid-nineties classic. I enjoy it thoroughly.

"When a man fails in personal Christian experience, it is nearly always because he had never received anything. The only sign that a man is saved is that he has received something from Jesus Christ ... forgiveness of sins." --Oswald Chambers

Posted 6:01 PM by Luke
OK SO FOR SOME REASON THIS PROGRAM WILL NO LONGER LET ME ITALICIZE THINGS, SO I WILL BE PUTTING MY HEADLINES IN THIS VERY OBNOXIOUS CAPITALIZED TEXT FOR THE TIME BEING. COMPUTERS ARE SO FINICKY!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it's time for the long-awaited and belated New Year's edititon of the Styrofoam Candidate. I was not in town for the New Year, obviously, so I missed my chance to do a little wobbling about 2002. So, shall we? Don't worry, I won't cheat, nothing from my awesome DCC experience will be included, since that was technically post-New Year.

- It very well may have been the coolest year I have ever or will ever experienced in music. Ok, if you add in the last half of 2001, then it was definetly beyond comprehension. From August 2001 to November 2002, I attended the following concerts (in chronological order): Radiohead, Old 97s, U2, 1964 The Tribute (twice), They Might Be Giants, Paul McCartney(!!!!!!), Caedmon's Call, Ben Folds, The Eagles, John Mayer/Guster, Dave Matthews Band, Wilco, Counting Crows, Paul McCartney(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Randall Goodgame, Wilco and Ben Folds again. I think that's about 'nuff said on that. How the heck will I ever top that list? It's a good thing too, because I probably can't go on forever spending this much money on concerts. Radiohead, U2 and Paul tie for the number one, with Wilco, The Eagles and Ben Folds following shortly thereafter. As for CD of the year, I far and away give the nod to Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot." It took a few listenings to get into, but since then it's been a staple. The best ones are always the ones that are hard to embrace initially. Other great albums of 2002 include Counting Crows' "Hard Candy," Weezer's "Maladroit," Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising," The Flaming Lips' "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots," Coldplay's "A Rush of Blood to the Head," Dave Matthews Band's "Busted Stuff," Beck's "Sea Change," George Harrison's "Brainwashed," and Norah Jones' "Come Away With Me." I'm sure there are many others I have yet to hear from a year that continued the great revival going on where people actually like to hear music that actually means something again instead of that ridiculous boy band business that was going on for FAR too long.

- The post-September 11 world seems very different but yet not all that different at the same time. On one hand, the news is always covered with potential war pronouncements and continual fear of what might happen if America goes to war. On the other, I still feel strangely disconnected from it all here in mid-Missouri. Life here is no different to me than it was before the tragedy. People still have the same dumb attitudes - lack of care for one another, the feeling that actually talking to a stranger is a major violation of personal space, the road rage, and on and on. I guess that just shows me how deep and inherent our depravity is. The horrible tragedy may of changed us for a little while, but nothing lasting will ever occur withour a full-on deep-clean from the inside out.

- The J-School here at MU is great, but (GASP) it's not all it's cracked up to be. In the end, it comes down to what you want to get out of it, as with anything else in this world. I sure got sick of hearing about how great they are and how if I don't get 809 internships before I graduate, then I'll never amount to anything. You know what? I like what I'm learning in the J-School right now, and I'm sure it will be of great use in my future, whether or not that ends up being journalism. But you know what else? I'm here at college to learn about more than just journalism, and I'm not (now or ever in my life) going to make my schoolwork or profession into my life. There is so much more to what God has for me than my successes and failures in writing. I want to do it and do it well when I do it, but, sorry J-School Higher-Ups, I don't have the rest of my life planned out. God has that under control.

- When your manager tells you she has to go take her ACT next weekend, something feels backwards. Working with a bunch of high schoolers for a part-time summer job at an ice cream parlor is a test of patience. Really.

- Funniest story of the year, by far: A young, college-age male, about 6'1" with dirty blond hair was walking along Rollins Street in Columbia late one night in early Spring. A car with a few guys in it pulled up and stopped next to him.
"Excuse me," the passenger said.
"What's up?" the man replied.
"Do you know where Richmond and Virginia is?" the passenger asked.
The man thought for a moment, but came up with nothing. "No, sor----" But before he could finish his remark, a super-soaker was trained directly on him and he began to feel moisture covering his body. The man raised one hand in a feeble attempt to block the water assault, and rebuked them with a stunning call to arms that sounded something like, "Hey jerks! Stop!"
But the riders continue to squirt the man, all while laughing and calling him innappropriate names. They drove slowly along the man as he quickened his pace.
Finally, the riders drove off, and the man thought he could begin to contemplate the extreme jerkishness of the situation in which he had just been an unwilling taken part. Alas, the car returned for one more drive by shooting before leaving. The man walked the rest of the way home stunned and soaked, unable to comprehend what would drive one to do such a thing.

Yes, the man in that story is me. It's quite hilarious now, though it really wasn't when it happened. So, go ahead and laugh about it. I won't be hurt.......too much ;)

- Revelation of the year: I only have a year and a half left before my life stops revolving around scantron bubbles and seemingly worthless paper-writing sessions. There is a real world out there! Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me! But yeah, like I said, I am going to make the most of the short time I have left here, that's fo' sho'.

- Having an apartment off campus is awesome in most every way except the ridiculous 30-40 minute commute session it takes for me to get to buildings that are no more than 2 miles away from my humble abode.

- Biggest thing God taught me in 2002: You can't deal with sin by simply trying to stop whatever particular sin you have problems with. God has to get inside the root of the problem, no matter how much it hurts, and deal with it His way. It will always be easier to take the easy way out by keeping God and others out of it, but it will always be more rewarding to be strikingly honest.

I'm sure I could say a lot more about 2002. Despite all the fun concerts, etc., it was one of the most diffcult years of my life in a lot of ways. But I'm just now seeing the powerful results of the pain. Bring it on, '03! You KNOW!

Posted 7:49 PM by Luke
I know this one's long, but bear with me. I think it'll be worth it (but then again I'm writing it, so I guess my opinion could be biased)

I looked down from the heights to see the city of Denver, looking as but a speck amidst the vast glory of the surrounding terrain. From the edge of the rock, I looked out over the horizon to see hazy, grey clouds unfold across the tips of the surrounding mountains. Much of my view of the vast expanse was blocked by those whispy coverings, but I stood there amazed nonetheless. For a moment I wondered if -- just maybe -- I could run full speed and spread my arms out for one big jump down the side of the mountain. Maybe I could pull out one of those tricks from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and just kind of float across the mountaintops. I decided I'd better not put God to the test ;) But as I stood there, taking in the view that I had never before experienced, I felt something well up within me. All of the sudden I wanted to experience creation in a way that the dull plains of Missouri don't allow. I never knew I wanted to really get out there in the peaks and valleys of it all and soak it in. It was kind of this overwhelming masculine beat-my-chest urge to just run wild. Right next to that was the overwhelming masculine urge to pee off the side of the mountain. And so several of us did (after the ladies has left, of course). Men really are no more than animals sometimes are they? Just marking our territory wherever we go. The crazy thing about all this is that we barely even touched the mountains. In fact, the one we stood atop was no more than a huge hill compared with some of the other ones, or so I hear. I don't know what those must be like, but I sure want to find out, because I was sufficiently amazed by my little hill. I felt such awe for God's glory, such fear and strength all at once. I really can't describe it, but at least I tried.

That moment, more than any other, is a symbol of my week in Denver. God came into my life in a way He never had. He filled me up and I felt like I was going to pass out from the overflow in my heart many times throughout the week. I saw the view from the mountains for the first time, both literally and figuratively. And now that it's over, I hope to never be the same. I don't think I even can. I went into the week with not paricularly high expectations, just hoping to be fed in some way. But that wasn't God's plan, and despite any struggles or problems I had going in, He was going to work in a way that only He can. The time I spent with some of the guys there -- Caleb, Jay, Josh and Kevin -- was incredible. It was the kind of time that is so genuine, where you can goof off and praise God and talk about Him all at once because it's so natural, it's not like you have to force spiritual conversations or like you can't have fun together. I have to continue that with those guys and others, that's for sure. Satan is so crippled when believers come together with a purpose of seeking after God.

There were so many other ways in which Christ just overpowered me and my shortcomings this week. The times of sharing my faith, whether with the poor families that we delivered food to or to the folks on the street that stopped to hear us worship, was especially amazing. Even though much of it was frustrating, I was struck by the dual feeling inside me of hurt for those who don't believe and joy for God's faithfulness and power. He doesn't count on me to get that stuff done, but He just does His work through me when I will let go and let Him do it. My heart for evangelism definetly grew ten-fold that night, along with my amazement at what God can do when I let Him.

Another inspiring moment was the talk one of the speakers, James White, gave to all the men at the conference. He urged men to fight the lies of the culture and to stay conneected with their purpose, passion and even their pain. He talked about the story of David and Bathsheba and how Davide went spiraling out of control when he let himself get disconnected with those things. James stood up there, sharing the pain of the past year, even breaking down because of it. But he still injected passion into every single word he spoke. The pain was not enough to distract him from what God has called him to do, and it showed. By the end of the talk, many of the guys (including myself) in the room were in tears and were just totaly overcome by it.

There were many other moments of the week. It ended in my deciding to give at least one year of my life to full-time ministry of some sort. I hadn't planned on signing the pledge, which they had offered last year to everyone also. There's no pressure to sign it, people just walk up and do it if the feel led. Well, going into last year and this year, I didn't feel led. Shoot, I don't even know where God will call me after college, how can I make that commitment? But when they offered I just felt God telling me to do it. I was afraid to at first because I didn't want any motives of public self-glorification to get in the way. I didn't want to do it to look like super-spiritual guy for my friends, I just wanted to do it for God if He wanted me to. And He did, so I signed it. Afterwards, God confirmed my decision through a couple of friends, Megan and Jared, who said they just knew I was going to make the commitment and that Megan felt the need to pray for me. I was like "You knew? I didn't even know until the last second?!" Never has God spoken so directly to me. Whew.

The biggest key of this week was summed up completely in a song that Bebo Norman sang when he played for us during the conference. The song, called "Walk Down This Mountain," is all about leaving the mountain but taking the experience back with you to continue applying it rather than forgetting about it and sinking back into old habits. I want to take all that God has shown me this week and live with that at the forefront back in my normal life at school or wherever. It will take commitment -- I know I will be tempted to just get comfortable and forget all of this, but I can't. Those commitments to fellowship, to sharing my faith, to just being stretched, are so important. I can't forget. Here in this moment, with classical music floating in the background as I write, reminding me of the beauty God is capable of making through humans, I pray I won't.

"Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God on this one thing only -- My Utmost For His Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone." -- Oswald Chambers